Southern Charm

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit
and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you
"PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens,
turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general
direction of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ..
As in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar"
Is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance
that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the
table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might
not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture
of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of
hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold tater salad. If
the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to
add a large nanner puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between
"right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that
"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a
verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ...
And when we're "in line," ... We talk to everybody!

In the South, y'all is singular, .... All y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and
coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also
a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a
breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin',"
you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."
Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we
do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you
don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at
little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just
say,"Bless her heart"... And go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your
Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage
gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time
understanding all this Southern stuff, ... Bless your
hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on
Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived
here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on
y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but
I got here as fast as I could."

*** SOUTHERN WOMEN ***

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:

Clean skin.

A winning smile.

That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"

Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The beach
The beach

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Good Catholic Girl
Baptist (might marry one)
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

Charleston (Chawl'stn)
Savannah (S'vanah)
Fort Worth (Foat Wuth)
New Orleans (N'awlins)
Atlanta (Addlanna)

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler, of course!

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the four deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
Wearing too much makeup in the summer

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !

Now......Shugah, send this to some folks who were raised in
the South or wish they had been!

This whole thing brought back memories of my little ole Southern Grandma Lee, she would dress to the nine's just to go "downtown" - that included hat and gloves my dears.  I can remember having to struggle into nylon hose in the midst of southern humidity...LOL...but a lady never, ever left the house without looking "like a lady".  So much of this list is just so dam true....I do have to giggle.