Journal Jar Question #25

Grandparents...oh, I believe that I'm one of the luckiest people to be able to say that I knew all my grandparents, grew with them, learned from them and admired them for their strength, their wisdom and their love.

I was born during the Second World War....as a result my Dad was a Marine stationed far away from us...my Mom worked during the day to help with the cost of a family...that left me as a babe in the arms of a loving, kind Southern Grandmother and multi-talented Greek Chef Grandfather who both fawned over their first born grandchild.  I was the golden baby.

My Dad was seriously hurt during the war, developed complications that caused him to be hospitalized for almost two years....so the first formative years were mostly under the guidance of my Grandparents.

They lived in Norfolk, Virginia and we visited during the winter school break and I spent almost all my summers at their house..it became my second home away from home.
Even now, if I close my eyes I can feel myself on their covered front porch...sitting on their large swing listening to the rain hit the green & white awning that my Grandad had put up to shield the porch from rain....I can almost smell the rain. I can remember coming home from the pier with bushel crates full of Chesapeake Bay crabs and helping Grandpa clean them off for cooking. He taught me how to fish & crab & cook.  My husband thanks his memory when I make Greek Grape Leaves or any of the wonderful dishes that he showed me.   Memories can play tricks sometimes, but this is one that I cherish.

They taught me to be kind, by being kind...they taught me to be faithful...by being faithfull for more than fifty years, they taught me to stand my ground when I felt it was right and to trust my instincts.  They taught me that love was a moving, living, growing essence that had to be tended to or it could be lost. 

They teased each other, sometimes refused to speak to each other unless it was through one of us kids...it would be "Tell that man Nick that he is really in my kitchen too much!"  Nick of course would respond "Youtell Lee that I'm the cook in the family and she can wait till I move!" I guess you would consider it "fussing" at one another...but always with the undercurrent of love embedded in it.

I didn't find this out until after my Grandad passed but my little Grandmother, who never learned to drive, would get on a downtown city bus for an hour to take her to the Veteran's Hospital on the days that my Uncle could not take her.  My Grandad was in there for over a month...Lee never missed a day.  So much of our family did not live right there, so it was with heavy heart that I learned this....but my Grandmom said to me "Nick would of done the same for me."

She lived a good number of years without him but he was never far from her memory, as both of them are never far from mine.

I was lucky, I spent the first 42 years of my life knowing my Grandparents.   I believe that we can learn from our elders, I have always believed that...

It's Written In The Stars!

Dear Sandra,
Here is your horoscope
for Monday, March 28:

Still ready to let anyone and everyone see how aggravated you are, even if it's not politically correct? Well, good for you. No one could ever stop you from that mission. But count to ten, just for the heck of it.

Gosh, does someone up there know me or what? Yeah, I'm mad and it's not politically correct.  I don't think murder is politically correct either...and no I'm not someone who thinks no one deserves the death penalty....some of us are more worthy of that than others...so I'm not a pacifist, I'm not a born again Christian, I do believe in a higher power....a divine being....God if you will.  

If you read the bible, especially the lost books of the bible, the dead sea scrolls, all the stories that have been removed for "our" protection.....hell, our history is fraught with killing, mayhem, incest and yes plain out murder....and that's just reading some parts of the bible.   I, personally, like to imagine a fatherly God, one who loves his children and will protect them from harm.  I really don't know what we expect...the heavens to open and a booming voice to declare "Thou Shalt Not Kill This Woman!"  Where is a good miracle when you need one?

Now they did say count to ten....nah, I'll just say what's on my mind and get it over with straight out....

I had someone say to me "that they wished all this nonsense with Shiavo would end, they were TIRED of hearing about it".   Wow, my first reaction was...you small minded, totally wrapped up in your own little warped world, you care nothing for no one but yourself - you stupid piece of crap, so sorry that someone's life hangs in the balance and interfers with your priorities.   Tired of hearing about it indeed....this particular person in my life had best never need me for anything serious...cause I will not be there.   And the best part, this person says they are religious...bullshit

Remember the part in the bible where God says find ten honest people to save the city?  Well, we need to find ten honest judges in this country.....and they sure as hell are not sitting on the Supreme Court Bench either.

Today, tonight maybe tommorrow her fight will end
Her soul will wing it's way to Heaven's Gate
As far as judgement goes that should
seal her husband's soul's fate

One day to stand outside Heaven's Gate
Asking entrance only to find himself denied
Pleading for assistance as the fire opens
below him, St. Peter looks him in the eye
and quite plainly says  "You Lied".

Her soul will wing it's way to Heaven's Gate
She fought her battle long and strong
She's sent early to her final rest
Even though it's wrong
Causing so many loving people to cry
All because of an evil lie.

 

Sandi

 

 

 

Throw Away Society

I've come to the conclusion and I believe wholeheartedly that it is a correct one, we have totally become a throw away society.

I've joked with my husband that so many of the landmarks here in Florida are fleeting....my sister and I were going to the bank turning down a block that we knew quite well and had only been down that block two days before.  Something was out of place, something was wrong, goodness grief!! Someone knocked down Mickey Dee's...all that was left was the Golden Arch Sign.

My sister & I looked at one another we started to laugh hysterically, she almost didn't know where to turn for the bank because the corner building wasn't there.  Of course, I had to add "I really really wanted a hamburger!!"  It's strange too, because this particular McDonald's had just under gone a tremendous overhaul, including building an indoor play area...within the last year....so what gives?  I'm glad someone has money to waste.

It gets worse, my folks live about 15 blocks from me as the crow flies.  Well, we never paid attention to streets, avenues, addresses ..just go three or four miles down the road turn left at the vacuum store and go two blocks...and you are there. For twenty years this has been our road....well, two weeks ago my hubby is driving me over to visit my folks, and we miss the turn...why? No more vacuum store!!  

You know that song "They paved paradise and put up a parking lot?" well, that's how I feel.

But seriously folks, all joking aside when I see that 60% of us versus 30% (10% don't give a crap either way) and the higher number wants us to throw away a human life it's scary.

I hate the idea that people are jumping on this because they see politics on one side or the other.  I'm not a Bush supporter but in this instance I have to agree with him about erring on the side of life.

There is a web site that everyone, whatever your beliefs, should view....it is an expanded video of the short view that you get of Terri on TV....the Judge had also forbidden the family from showing this film...why?  Go to   www.terrisfight.net

 

It Is So Wrong

I keep shaking my head thinking, "hey, all this is really not happening right here in my backyard!"  Unfortunately, it is...I believe there will be a special place in hades for the lawyer, the huband and especially the judge.

In light of this little blonde nurse coming forward with her tales of abuse from Michael - isn't that enough to question all these legal decisions?  Even a convicted death row prisoner can get a last minute reprieve based on new evidence.  Why not Terri? What is wrong with this judge?  He will not hear he will not listen he does not care...he is no judge.  He wants this over with just as her errant husband does...so the judge washes his hands ala Pilate washing his hands of Jesus.

So we sit in our comfortable homes, drinking our hot coffee debating whether it is right to save a life ... she lies in the bed, life slowly ebbing away while the wolves wait silently watching what they want take place.

It is not over. I live here. I vote here, and I will not forget.

All Things Under Heaven

Our earth is so beautiful...when viewed from space...gazing down at it, viewing it's beauty one could not dare believe the trials and tribulations that humanity has suffered.

It hangs there suspended in black liquid space glowing like a jewel plucked from the Creator himself. 

I just finished reading The Bible Code II and it scared the hell out of me.   In a strange way it validated what I've felt from the time I was a small child.  I used to dream that we came here from a different place, it's one of the reasons that I've always loved Startrek and StarWars....science fiction ... anything the mind can think of can eventually occur.  Look at Jules Verne written too many years before the ideas were even thought possible. Galileo, DaVinci, Newton and on & on..

Well, according to the Bible Code the end days are fast upon us..they found evidence of a code within the original Hebrew Bible written in the old Hebrew...predicting everything from the fall of the Twin Towers to Gore losing the Presidency to Bush.

The scarey part is that they claim this coming year 2006 is the year for disaster on a tremendous scale, causing our planets death.

If only people could stop the hatred, stop the killing and learn to love life maybe, just maybe we would have a chance.  As a race, we humans stand on a new threshold of future brillance, enormous discoveries  just waiting to be made.  Our sweat, our blood should be aimed at victories over disease, world hunger and averting deaths from huge natural disasters.

Will we have the time left to accomplish anything? If this code is correct we may not.  The author believes the codes were placed to be found as a warning that the future is a fluid state ever changing. That there are several alternatives to the outcome based on what we do now.  A couple of years ago I would not of believed in this as easily as I do now...but that was before the fall of the towers brought on by one evil twisted man...Bin Laden - oh, his name is in the book in code too, as is Bush, Clinton et al.

I just wonder what HE thinks as he looks at our little blue planet spinning so brillantly against the black sky.

Evil Judges Be Damned

It is now 1:49 PM in sunny Florida...land of the dead or being helped to die.....

Judge Greer, in all his infinite wisdom, has struck down all legal attempts to try to thwart his decision that Terri must die by horrible means.   We do not even torture the most evil death row prisoner by withholding food & water...yet this is what this miserable excuse for a human being believes is right for Terri.

A last minute bid to rescue, my hopes went soaring that maybe the calvary was on it's way, the men in the white hats would come barreling in and win the day.....they tried, they pleaded, I do believe that a federal supeona outweighs a local idiot judge...but I must be in the minority....will Hospice cave?  From what I understand Hospice had a rep on the phone call between Washington and our inept judge and when he said "No, my order stands"  the rep asked "what do we do now?' The judge replied"You go back and follow my orders and remove the tube at once"...... I want  to know if this guy is elected or appointed and I for one want him out of the court system....No matter what has been presented, no matter what has been told to him, no amount of evidence - for saving her life has been accepted by this terrible judge.  Yet, he accepts unproven facts & statements attributed to Terri by people who have hidden motives...no fairness at all do I see in this entire case for over fifteen years...

Now, remember Terri as you swallow your food or take your next drink of water....

In Less Than 24 Hours

It seems we have come full circle.   I've written about this before, I've cried over this before...and yet, we still battle on.

On one hand we have people who get all teary eyed over a cartoon character singing about the "circle of Life"....while here in Florida, actually not too far from my home, a battle continues which some would call the "circle of Death."

On one hand you have a family that willingly will provide loving care for their beloved daughter and on the other a husband, who gave up early on any "therapeutic" care, who carried on with his life creating new life while still maintaining "he was doing the right thing by his wife".  My God, what's wrong with this picture?  I know the picture of justice is always blindfolded but in this case I believe the judge is not only blind but bereft of all human compassion.   I know, full well, that there is a difference between our "legal laws or the letter of the law" and our morality.   

But this case deserves the wisdom of Solomon not a judge who refuses to look into his own soul for answers too.  Does he even know what this poor girl will go through to die?   Starvation is an awful sight...painfully slow and she has been through the beginning stages of it twice before because of this judge and her "loving" husband.  It's not enough that the tube is to be removed tommorrow at 1 PM, the husband also secured an order that will not allow anyone to try to hand feed her anything...water, food...nothing to go into her mouth.  Why? What is he afraid of? God has made this woman survive for some reason and it's just not right what they are doing.

I can't begin to explain how this case upsets me....I can't imagine how her family feels...the pain for all these years, the wanting to help her, being told they could not, refusal of medical treatments, no further theraphy.....I normally do not curse, but I hope that the people involved in trying to end her life this way eventually find themselves at the gateway of hell.

I know the Governor is trying to help and maybe a rescue will come in time....I pray it will....and to all those who think "oh, crap she's a basket case let her go"....life is life and all things are possible under heaven, as long as it exists anything can happen...as several weeks ago another "comatose" person came back after being declared as having "no hope of recovery".

Say a prayer for Terri......

 

A Fairytale

This is a story about a little monkey who lived in a really big green jungle. Now everybody knew that this little monkey would grow up to be something special in his little corner of the world. Why?

Well, it seems this little fellow was able to zip in and out of different dimensions...one minute you would see him and one minute you would not! But that was not the best of it... if you were to touch this little monkey while he was "transporting" you'd be taken along for a wild ride.

Too many of his monkey cousins had fallen victim to his shenanigans only to return to normal space totally confused.  As a result, our little monkey was a pretty lonely little fellow, until one day a Prince appeared in the Jungle needing help.  It seemed that a really evil Ogre, with the help of a magic stone had spirited the Prince's true love into another realm.  That magic place was in another dimension and the prince hearing about this special talent that this little monkey possessed hoped that he would help him recover his lost love.

Now those of us in the present must remember that milleniums ago animals and humans could speak and understand each other quite well.  The little monkey, whose name was Zap, happily told the Prince that he would most assuredly assist him with the mission to save a Princess!  Zap was so happy to have someone that needed his "special" talent that he would of followed the Prince to the ends of the earth.

Well, they needed to put their heads together to come up with a plan to rescue the Princess.  The Prince was not quite sure which magic realm the Ogre had spirited the Princess Rose to...so they needed to do a search.   Zap told the Prince, whose name was Jack, to hold onto his hand and whoosh!!! there they went!!!   Jack felt his whole body transform into a fluid state similiar to a raging river moving so quickly....but so cold....all of a sudden he felt beyond heavy...dropping like a stone.  They came to a sudden stop on the other side....Zap said "well, it takes some getting used to, doesn't it?"  The Prince didn't want to admit he was shaken to his core...."Yes, it sure does, but we must for her sake".

This particular dimensional world didn't appear too different except the colors...everything was reversed the sky was green, the grass was blue and flowers were all shades of grey.  They walked a bit trying to find some sign of intelligent life....they came upon a little turtle like creature sitting upright on a grey log.  Zap said "Hello little one can you understand me?" The little creature looked up and said in a clear voice "Of course I can understand you, I'm not stupid!"  The Prince jumped in not wanting to offend anyone just yet and said "Oh, we know that you are very intelligent, we are looking for an Ogre who has a beautiful princess as a prisoner. Have you seen anyone like that?" 

The little turtle stood up on two legs and said quite loudly "I never know about you offlanders! You flit in and out of our space so easily, now you want my help?"  Jack was beside himself with worry over his princess, he said "Oh, please just let us know if you have seen anything or know anyone who might be able to help us. This is all being done in the name of love and it's a fight against evil."   The little turtle's heart turned a little and he said "Ok, yes I have seen something strange recently....but you'll have to come to the black crystal cave to get the whole answer."

So off the trio went...heading for the black crystal cave looking for clues.    When they approached the opening the little turtle hung back, fear showed on his face.  Zap asked "What's wrong this is where you said right?"  The little turtle said "Yes, a great Wizard lives in this cave and he would have all your answers I do believe. But this wizard and I have a bad history...I played a trick on him years ago and he has a long memory."  So it was decided that Zap and the Prince would enter the cave without the turtle. 

The first thing they both noticed as the entered the cave was a beautiful erie glow that appeared to grow lighter the deeper they moved into the cave.  Looking up they saw wonderous stalagmites growing down from the roof of the cavern...it was from these beautiful crystals that the glow was emanating from.  They reached a deeper point where the cave branched out into two separate corridors....they did not want to separate themselves so they opted to go to the left.   It was a good choice.  They heard a humming....and as they moved closer they could see a wizened old man hunched over a steaming cauldron.

The man looked up with a slight surprise on his face..."Oh, didn't know I was to have company tonight!"  Well, well don't just stand there gaping..you are here for a reason...get on with it!"  The little monkey and the Prince gingerly made their way toward the old man..."We are sorry to disturb you, but I am on a quest...my lady love has been stolen by an evil Ogre and we are hoping that you will help us" said the Prince.  The old man stared at the monkey and slapped his hand to his knee.."You! you are the one from the other world that flits in and out of our world!  I've always thought you were just up to mischief! Not on a quest, he said."

Zap pulled himself tall and said in his loudest voice.."I'm never up to mischief! I try to help everybody all the time!"  Laughter started to bellow from the old wizard, he laughed with a rolling thunder that resonated throughout the caves.  "oh, OH! my, my...a monkey who causes no mischief!" He laughed.  The Prince stepped in and said in a quiet voice "Please help us find my stolen love, please." The wizard sighed and said "ah love, nothing like it exists anywhere in magic because it's a magic all it's own.  I have a special heart shaped crystal that glows a crimson red when you are in close proximity to your heart's desire...which in your case, my Prince, would be your lady love."

The wizard explained that they could use the crystal to track the trail that the Ogre took because it would feel the vibrations from the Princess.  It was a good plan because the Ogre would not know that they had magical powers on their side too.  Jack asked the wizard if he knew who had helped the Ogre in his plot to steal the Princess.  The wizard sighed a really deep heavy sigh and said "I'll tell you this with heavy heart, it is my very own half-brother that has his hand in this.  He is not a full blown wizard because it was not his birthright, it was mine....but behind our backs he practiced the art of black witchery and cast many an evil spell before we caught him."  The little monkey felt sorry for the wizard and said so...he felt that family should always depend on one another and love one another...Jack agreed.

The wizard said "the past is the past, but this is for your future..I will try to cast a spell that will reverse anything that he throws at you - so that it will come back at him full force!  Come into my inner chambers I have a vision crystal that may prove interesting. " They followed him into the inner chamber and found themselves standing in front of a very large clear crystal...it was so perfectly clear almost with a diamond like quality to it.  As the wizard approached he mumbled some words, waving his hand at the same time and the surface of the crystal started to slowly change.  An image of a small town, rather quaint, appeared on the crystal's surface.  All of a sudden, Jack yelled "there! there she is!"  An image of a dark haired beauty floated on the crystal, one could see tears were running down the girl's face...but it did nothing to detract from her absolute beauty.  She was in a room, but it looked more like a prison with bars on the windows & door than anything else.   The wizard exclaimed "I know where that is...it's only a few hours from here as the crow flies".  The prince turned to Zap and "said we must get there really fast..can you jump side to side in this place?"  Zap replied "I don't know I've never tried except to from us to here...I'm willing to try".

The wizard said " Well using the locating crystal that I gave you will help you concentrate on reaching her and since it's my own brother behind this I shall accompany you on your quest!"  So they formed a little circle and the Wizard held one of monkey's hands and the Prince the other...and off they went...all concentrating on the Princesses location.  Again, they felt like flowing water going with the tide of time...liquid in nature, fluid...icy cold...coming to a sudden stop....heaviness decending back to reality.

As luck would have it, they materialzed right inside the room where the princess was.  The shock of having them appear so suddenly caused the princess to cry out and swoon...luckily Jack managed to get to her before she hit the floor.  She looked up into his face and asked "Oh, Jack is it really you? Or is this yet another terrible trick that the evil Ogre is playing on me?"  Jack assured her that he was her own true love come to rescue her from the evil Ogre.  Just at that moment the door unlocks and in walks a younger version of the old wizard...followed closely behind by a brutally ugly Ogre. "Oh, I see we have a would be escape together with a group of heroes.  He turned to the Ogre and said "Dagnar..we are being remiss in welcoming these gentlemen...please toss them into some chains for me."

The old wizard had had his back to the door and his younger brother had not realized who he had in his clutches...he turned with glowing eyes, mumbling an incantation and the Ogre turned into a small mouse...who scampered quickly away.  The wizard's younger half brother stared in disbelief, he tried to do an incantation back at him but it was no use.  The next thing he knew he was writhing on the floor and turning slowly into a snake...and not a dangerous snake either - just the common garden garter snake variety that get eaten by birds all the time.  His future looked bleak.

The Prince explained to his Princess how the rescue came to be, especially the little monkey's part in it.  She was extremely grateful to them all for rescuing her from their evil clutches.  The little monkey looked sad....his adventure was all over...now, once again, he would be the loneliest creature in the jungle because of his "special" powers.  Once again everyone would be afraid to touch him for fear of being sent into the "nowhere".  The wizard took the monkey aside and said "I know it's hard to be different from others. especially when you want to help everyone too...I think I have a special crystal for you that might help you."

They all stood in a small circle The Prince, The Princess, The Wizard and the little Monkey....they all put their hands in the middle of the circle and the monkey placed one hand on  top and one hand on the bottom so they all were touching and they zapped back into the cold...fluid time....back to the wizard's cave.   The wizard was rummaging around a bit, rooting as it were..searching for a special crystal.  "Ahah! he shouted I foundit!!" said the wizard, with that he opened his hand and in it was a lovely azure blue crystal that glowed...it had a natural hole through it..the wizard put it on a piece of leather and placed it around the little monkey's neck.   "Now, you will be able to control your jumping between the dimensions...no one will be afraid to touch you anymore...everything will be under your power to jump or not". said the Wizard.

Oh the little monkey jumped up and down with glee...he could run, jump & play with his cousins, he could swing from tree to tree and not worry about "bumping" into anybody...oh joy!  He was so happy...The Prince was happy too as was his beloved.  Even the grumpy Wizard had to smile at the monkey's antics....which just goes to prove all's well that end's well......

This fairytale has been done for an entry into Judith Heartsong's story contest at the following link:

http://journals.aol.com/judithheartsong/newbeginning

 

 

 

 

 

6 Degrees of Separation

This has been a little strange...I keep on remembering that movie the one where everyone is connected to someone by degrees..I think it was six (6) degrees of separation.  Kevin Bacon was in it or doing it.

See the two pictures of the flowing river?  One was painted by a good friend of mine, Riichiro Kawashima, a Japanese gentleman who had attended art school in Chicago and spoke excellent English.  I've written about him in my other journal on Japan.

I've always felt that my unborn child, Kenji, absorbed some of this man's tremendous talent as I sat watching him paint and listened to him speaking about his life.

Well, as many of you know, I have a store on Ebay...I wanted to list some small oil paintings that I no longer want...so I was roaming through the listings trying to gauge a price.

Oh, of a sudden I see a painting that strikes a familiar cord!  It's a painting almost of the same view...maybe 60 years later in Paris on the Seine River....I felt looking at these two that the artist must of stood within feet of each other to be able to paint it so.

I was amazed.  I had located my friends painting in a museum and was able to copy it to my computer...lord knows how much the original is.  Kawashima-sensei had for my wedding given my husband & I paintings, sketched & water colors for different rooms in our house....they were beautiful and much appreciated.  My mother-in-law who was Mrs. Kawashima's friend did not want the art to leave Japan when Tom & I were transferred back to the States.  So with heavy heart, the artwork was left in her care for us to retrieve upon our return to Japan. 

Well, not to bore anyone ... we never made that return trip together.   It's a common tale of separation & divorce....I would have been happy to pull a "Shirley Maclaine" but he needed someone there - he dreaded being "alone".....not realizing how "alone" he had made me during the last years of us.

But when I think of the time watching Kawashima-san paint..it makes me remember the happier times so filled with hope & promise.

So I really, really want that second picture.....I think I'm going to bid.....

PS. The reason I put the other picture of an artist wearing his little french cap sitting in front of an easel painting Irises....That's exactly my memory of watching him......one of the paintings that he had given us was a huge beautiful oil of blue. purple Irises with vibrant green hued stalks rising amid the flowers....his style was very impressionistic, colorful like his idols Van Gogh, Monet and Picasso....

Journal Jar Question #13

 

What cherished heirlooms do I have from relatives who have passed over?

From my Southern Grandmother Lee I received a great deal of love that is still with me today together with a handmade crocheted bedspread made by her "grandmother"...my great-great grandmother.  They owned a Tobacco farm in South Carolina and her Grandmother used the white cotton twine that they used to tie the tobacco with in bunches - that's what she made this beautiful quilt out of.  Everytime I touch it, I feel a connection to all those women who have gone before.

From my wonderful Greek Grandfather who loved Lee with every fiber in his being....Lee collected statues..years & years of statues, made in Japan, big ones little ones.....we, children, on the other hand would , not intentionally, break them.  Nick would sit for hours and glue & paste the pieces back together....and tell Lee "see if you don't move it - no one would know!" I have several of the pieces that he lovingly pieced back together....they are worth more to me than if they were made of gold.

I also have paintings & sketches  that were done by my Japanese MotherInLaw, a very talented painter.  So many pictures that jar my memory of my time spent in Japan.

My paternal Grandmother Sophie lived to 103 with full mental facilities intact, other than a few pieces of jewerly I don't have too much from her....what I learned from her is invaluable - strength, love, caring - a dogged stick-to-it-ness that has stayed with me all these years.

I do miss these people...and I know in my heart we will meet again.....